Posted by Tucker Battrell on Tuesday, December 22, 2009,
Day Twenty-Nine: Student Bodies (1981)
I'm sorry to say that I did not meet my goal this year. In the month of October, 2009 I only was able to watch 29 horror films. I'm very disappointed in myself, but it gives me something to shoot for next year! The final movie in my marathon is the absolutely worthless horror spoof Student Bodies. This movie has a total of one laugh, and even that one is stretching it. If you are really jonesing for an eighties slasher spoof, check out Wacko starrin... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Tuesday, December 22, 2009,
Day Twenty-Eight: The Mutilator (1985)
This is a pretty standard slasher that seems to have been lost in the shuffle. There were alot of these movies made in the eighties and to fans of the genre most of them are worth seeing. If you can find a copy of this one, I highly reccomend it. The story follows a young man named Ed who accidentally murders his mother as a child and gets slapped around by his dad for it. Fast-forward ten years and Ed brings his buddies to the scene of the crime wh... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Tuesday, December 22, 2009,
Day Twenty-Seven: Winterbeast (1991)
I love bad movies, and I love describing bad movies, but some bad movies must be seen to be believed. This is one of those films. I couldn't tell you exactly what I saw, but it involved stop-motion animation, horrible acting, no story, and a truly disturbing sequence featuring some old queen lip-synching to the creepy children's standard "Oh Dear, What Can The Matter Be?". If this movie doesn't make you feel like you're on drugs then it will surely ma... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Tuesday, December 22, 2009,
Day Twenty-Six: Orphan (2009)
Sometimes a movie's twist ending is all it has going for it. Sometimes a big "gotcha" at the end of a silly horror film can either make the movie a worthwhile experience or ruin it completely. With Orphan I knew the twist going in, and quite honestly, it's the reason I really wanted to see the movie. I mean I'm the kind of person who would watch any scary kid movie anyway, but I wasn't exactly beating down the cineplex door to get my ticket to this trashy li... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Friday, December 18, 2009,
Day Twenty-Five: MOH: The Washingtonians (2007)
This unfortunate entry in the short-lived Showtime series Masters of Horror answers the question that has been on all American's minds in the last few years: What if the father of our country was a cannibal? The answer: a bunch of lame cannibals in wigs would carry on his legacy. It's an uninteresting story made none more enjoyable by the hokey execution. Oh well. Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Friday, December 18, 2009,
Day Twenty-Four: Splatter (2009)
Revered genre director Joe Dante reunites with Corey Feldman and uber-producer Roger Corman for an internet-only experiment. A three-episode choose your own adventure horror film from the good folks at Netflix. Feldman plays Johnny Splatter, a rock star who has recently killed himself with a wonderfully bloody gunshot to the head. Splatter invites those who have wronged him to his house to view his videotaped will. Once in the house, Splatter traps them insid... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Sunday, November 1, 2009,
Day Twenty-Three - Feast III: The Happy Finish
Feast was a fun creature feature with a good sense of humor. Feast II: Sloppy Seconds was a lame attempt to make some sort of Feast/Troma hybrid that only succeeded in sucking. Well, with Feast III: The Happy Finish the filmmakers have picked up right where they left off. There are some slight improvements from the second film. For instance, the girl with the bright red hair is topless for most of the movie. Spoiler: A giant robot steps on a ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Sunday, November 1, 2009,
Day Twenty-Two - Satanic Panic (2009)
The so-called "satanic panic" of the 1980s has yet to get a good movie treatment, and this shit-fest is no revelation. The idea of satanists roaming the hillside and sacrificing children after listening to Judas Priest backward is such great source material for a horror film. Unfortunately, no one has truly been able to capitalize on that hysteria. Satanic Panic opens with a faux-documentary sequence which is amateurish, yet amusing. After this littl... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 31, 2009,
Day Twenty-One - A Perfect Getaway (2009)
Okay, so I'm reaching a little bit on this one. This is more of a thriller than a horror film, but I think it counts as it deals with a pair of serial killers who are murdering young honeymooning couples. Enter Steve Zahn and Milla Jovavich, two young newlyweds ready to enjoy a long hike in Hawaii. There are two other couples on the trail and the audience is supposed to be figuring out which couple is the murderous duo. The only problem is that the ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 31, 2009,
Day Twenty - Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead (2009)
The original Wrong Turn was a suspenseful, classic horror film that successfully played on my fear of Southerners. Its first sequel had a totally different vibe, but was pretty entertaining, and featured a great over-the-top performance from Henry Rollins. Wrong Turn 3 delivers some chuckles and a few good kills, but most of them are immediately diffused by a ridiculous kill, or digital blood-splatter that completely betrays the spirit of ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 31, 2009,
Day Nineteen - Paranormal Activity (2009)
I saw a screener of the early version of Paranormal Activity before the ending was changed, so I can't very well vouch for how terrifying the theatrical version is, but from what I hear of the new ending I'm glad I saw the version I did. The film is a "found footage" affair along the lines of The Blair Witch Project, but instead of witch-hunting this young couple is trying to capture an image of the demon they believe is haunting their house. The l... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 31, 2009,
Day Eighteen - Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)
I missed this little classic when I was a kid. I watched tons of horror movies growing up, but for some reason this one escaped me. And now that I know what I've been missing all these years I feel like I've wasted my life. This is a bad movie of the highest order. A trashy, stupid, unintentional laugh-filled classic. Mary Lou is a bitch who dies by fire at the prom and years later comes back to unleash her revenge on Michael Ironsides. ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Wednesday, October 28, 2009,
Day Seventeen - The Strangers (2008)
By far the most terrifying film of last year, The Strangers hits all the right notes when watched in a dark house late at night. The story of a young couple having a rough night after arriving home late from a party. He proposed, she rejected him. This soon turns out to be the least of their worries when they find themselves being terrorized and toyed with by three masked strangers. The killers and their apparent enjoyment of their little game are rem... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Wednesday, October 28, 2009,
Day Sixteen - Snuff: A Documentary About Killing on Camera (2008)
While this is a documentary, the stories it chronicles and the footage of atrocities both cinematic and real qualify this as horrific. The envelope-pushing gore and animal cruelty on display from films like Cannibal Holocaust and Faces of Death are enough to turn off the casual viewer, but I suppose if you're watching a documentary on the snuff film, you're probably pretty well-versed in cinematic gore. What even the com... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Wednesday, October 28, 2009,
Day Fifteen - Witch Bitch aka Death Spa (1988)
As far as I can tell this movie is about the spirit of a woman burned alive in a wheelchair who is possessing either the man who runs the health club with his computer, or possessing the computer itself. Either way, this movie is awesome. A man can increase the resistance on another person's seemingly normal stationary bike with a few strokes of his 1988 keyboard. Women are attacked by the shower and diving board amongst other things. Ken ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Friday, October 23, 2009,
Day Fourteen - Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)
Dark Night of the Scarecrow is a television movie starring Charles Durning as the world's biggest asshole postal worker who, along with some of his douchebag buddies, carries out some vigilante justice on a retarded man (Larry Drake) they suspect of killing a little girl. Unfortunately, the tard actually saved the little girl and then hid in the field disguised as a scarecrow where the bastards shot him in cold blood. What follows is a ne... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Monday, October 19, 2009,
Day Thirteen - Children of the Corn (2009)
Okay, I admit that the original film adaptation of Stephen King's short story was not perfect. It may not even be a good movie, but as a kid the opening half hour were as scary as a movie could get. The opening massacre in the diner, the car hitting the kid in the road, Isaac's creepy face: a perfect storm of terror for pubescent me. Now I've heard some say that the Isaac of the original was not believable for some reason, but I must argue that the... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Monday, October 19, 2009,
Day Twelve - Trick 'r Treat (2008)
Another eighties throwback that is being unfairly banished to the world of the straight-to-DVD release. This is a great, moody Halloween movie in the tradition of Creepshow. What makes this anthology film different from previous incarnations is that this one has no framing device to move from one story to another. Instead we have a free-flowing interwoven series of events which play out more like Short Cuts or Magnolia than any horror anthology. It's grea... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Monday, October 19, 2009,
Day Eleven - The House of the Devil (2009) The last few years have seen a handful of what I call homage-films. Those that attempt through visual style, story-telling methods, and music to capture the feeling of an earlier era in cinema. Films like Grindhouse and The Devil's Rejects aim to recreate the 1970s exploitation genre. The House of the Devil is another example of this trend. This movie attempts to capture the effect of slow-burning horror films of the 70s and 80s, and one critic ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 17, 2009,
Day Ten - The Damned Thing (2006)
Genre veteran Tobe Hooper directs this installment of the great, if short-lived, Showtime series Masters of Horror. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre director returns to the Lone Star State for this film which finds people overcome with rage and murdering others and themselves. Aside from a strange oil monster at the end, this is a pretty good little horror movie. The effects are pretty awesome with blood spurting and guts spilling, but the most shocking has to ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 17, 2009,
Day Nine - How to be a Serial Killer (2008)
This is basically an Americanized version of the cult classic Man Bites Dog. It's a faux-documentary about a charming serial killer mentoring a young video store clerk. What this movie has going for it is the lead actors who are oddly likable and very natural in their roles. What works against this film is that it's just not particularly funny or shocking, both of which abound in Man Bites Dog. It's never too horrifically violent, so that disappo... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 17, 2009,
Day Eight - Drag Me To Hell (2009)
Sam Raimi returns to his roots with this funny and disgusting horror comedy. This is also the first film in the fest that I can say I actually love. Tis the story of a young loan officer who, for various reasons, desperately wants to get the assistant manager job at the bank. She wants it so badly that she turns down a grotesque gypsy woman's loan extention. The old lady puts a curse on her and we're off. They have an incredible fight scene in her car wher... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Monday, October 12, 2009,
Day Seven - Friday the 13th (2009)
There are very few things in this world that I love as much as Jason Voorhees. He's the perfect horror villain. He's brutal, unthinking, and merciless. So it was with a certain amount of skepticism that I entered into the remake of Friday the 13th. Good news! It might as well have been a sequel. It minimally messes with the legend and tries to make it more real-world without any supernatural elements, but all that bullshit is beside the point. What you have ... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 10, 2009,
Day Six - Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (1912)
It's only eight minutes long, but I have some catching up to do. It's already the tenth and I've only watched five movies. In my defense I started late. Not much of a horrific element to this silent short of the classic story, but as with most movies of the era, it's pretty entertaining. Since it doesn't have a long running time that's not much of a feat, but that's pretty much the most I can say for this movie. If, for some reason, you want to hear mor... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 10, 2009,
Day Five - Village of the Damned (1960)
This is the first traditional horror film I've watched in the festival this year. It's the first time I've ever seen Village of the Damned. I have seen John Carpenter's 1995 remake, but this is my first experience with the original. The film centers on a small English village where all the inhabitants lose consciousness at the same time. When they wake, all the women able to bear children are pregnant. The babies grow at a remarkable speed and soon... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 10, 2009,
Day Four - The Haunted World of El Superbeasto
I was never a fan of Rob Zombie's music, but I have been an enthusiastic champion of his film work even when it has been less than ideal. House of 1000 Corpses was a flawed but fun mash-up of influences that left many cold. I defended House and eagerly awaited his next effort. The wait was worth it. In 2005 Zombie unspooled The Devil's Rejects, a sequel to House that stands on its own as the film that most captures the mood of seventies mi... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Saturday, October 10, 2009,
Day Three - Demon Lover Diary
Not a horror movie per se, but Demon Lover Diary is a fascinating documentary chronicling the making of an independent horror film in the 1970s. The film follows a young filmmaker hired by his friend to direct a low-budget horror film in Michigan, but the clash of ego and power over the process trumps talent and know-how shutting the picture down. The movie being filmed is a splatter movie called Demon Lover which, to my knowledge, was never finished, but wa... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Friday, October 9, 2009,
Day Two - Bad Biology
Day two of my Halloween horror fest finds me treading on familiar territory considering my recent viewing of Lars von Trier's sadistic genital mutilation drama. Cult filmmaker Frank Henenlotter (Basket Case, Frankenhooker) returns after a sixteen year absence with a tale of insatiable sexuality and monstrous genitalia. Bad Biology follows a woman with seven clits who can't get enough dick. She fucks, kills and immediately gives birth to a baby which she leaves whe... Continue reading ...
Posted by Tucker Battrell on Thursday, October 8, 2009,
I'm starting a little behind, but I am determined to watch 31 horror films in the month of October culminating in a huge celebration at the end of the month in honor of the Vanilla Ice's birthday. So I started things off right with the new spectacle from Danish filmmaker Lars von Trier who previously divided audiences with films like Dancer in the Dark, Dogville, and Manderlay. His latest, Antichrist, is indeed his most divisive film to date. Centering around She and He whose son falls to... Continue reading ...
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